Mark performs a truly Herculean task

REVIEW: Death on the Nile: – Malvern Theatres (Tuesday, February 10 to Saturday, February 14). Showtime! stars rating: * * * * *

IF only murder could be like this these days. Hardly any fuss, minimum amount of gore, barely a muffled scream… Heaven. For some, perhaps literally.

Nothing squalid, painful, cruel, brutal or mindless. Yup, I’ve gone all nostalgic for sudden death’s good old days, when the abrupt termination of life was apparently an art form and – come to think of it - not entirely disagreeable.

Hey, I’ve started, so I’ll continue. And then, before even the last drop of red stuff has congealed, along comes this kindly old detective chappie who gathers all the suspects into a room and eventually fingers the killer. Parfait!

Agatha Christie was, of course, the queen of under-the-duvet homicide, something cosy to be savoured over a warming hearth and a ‘home measures’ strong drink while tucked-up wearing one’s pyj-wobs.

And it’s hard to imagine any better interpretation of her work than the production being staged at Malvern all this week in which the irrepressible Mark Hadfield magnificently almost out-Poirots the great David Suchet or at least gives him a run for his Belgian francs.

The appetite for classic Christie shows no sign of diminishing whatsoever. Despite the now endless British monsoon rains battering the doors, this first night at the Festival Theatre was absolutely rammed with fans, hungry for their first whodunnit fix of the year 2026.

Adapted for the stage by Ken Ludwig and keenly directed by Lucy Bailey, this fast-paced thriller moves at the speed of the Nile in full spate as the steamer with its unspeakably posh guests cuts its way through the murky waters of the Egyptian night.

Hercule Poirot makes his entrance early on, casting a sharp policeman’s eye over his fellow travellers. No one escapes that cobra gaze… there is no hiding place. Hadfield’s portrayal of the diminutive Belgian detective is flawless, creating a character that is both uniquely his own, while staying true to the author’s original vision.

And the accent never falters. Never once does he, perhaps through weariness, default into Peter Sellers’ Inspector Clouseau character. Incroyable…

The 1930s rich-young-things-at-play feel is maintained throughout, the atmosphere sustained by Sarah Holland’s sharply observed costume supervision and a hugely talented cast that clearly empathises with the period.

There are some glorious performances. Libby Alexandra-Cooper’s take on the character of Linnet Ridgeway is as glittering as the shimmering frock that fits her like a glove, while Nye Occomore as compulsive cad Simon Doyle seems to have walked straight out of the pages of The Great Gatsby.

Then there’s Glynis Barber, gloriously honking and hooting her way through the river trip in the form of Salome Otterbourne, a sort of daffy duck dowager that one occasionally wishes had a volume control switch conveniently located in the middle of her forehead.

However, the one to keep a close eye on is most definitely the majestic Jacqueline de Bellefort (Esme Hough) who is not so much a fly, rather a Nile Delta mosquito with a razor-sharp proboscis freshly primed and ready for action.

Elsewhere, Bob Barrett as Colonel Race is in charge of harrumphing and – like some adoring fourth former helping the head boy – is more of a hindrance than help to the master detective.

Without doubt, the creative team behind this new production of Death on the Nile has breathed new life into a classic yarn and between them masterminded a compelling piece of contemporary theatre.